The Moment When I Was Allowed to Speak

Have you ever been in a crowd or group of people and realize you feel as though what you have to contribute means nothing to anyone else in the group? Everyone is talking over each other and you are left as a spectator. Then out of the complete random blue someone asks you what you think, or in my case “what is your purpose in life”?

You scramble quickly to formulate an answer that will elevate you conversation worthiness but then quickly realize you are too old to worry with what they think of you so you answer honestly. I am here to make people feel better about themselves. Meaning that you are here for others.

At first this may sound simple or unimportant but in truth it is a much higher level than most will ever achieve. You are giving up ego and the implied sense of self worth as it relates to society for a greater purpose.

Chances are those who operate at those “higher levels” will never truly comprehend “the greater good” or “for the betterment of all”. You will often be left feeling disillusioned and used. You will be correct in this analysis! You are disillusioned if you think those
Alpha males and females have the ability to see past their egos, they do not. Never have and never will!

So at this point of realization how do you cope? How do you cope in society everyday? The world is fraught with intellectuals or people who deem themselves as such. They really are not; any one can read a book and take a test or write a paper. So who are the real intellectuals? In my opinion they are stewards of continual learning those who can stop talking, listen and learn from what they hear. These people are few and far between. I aspire to be one of these celestial beings.

Not yet, I am not there just yet, for I am still hurt by the words put in my mouth by others. Still hurt by the people who use me for the little money I make and the great strokes I give their egos.

So help me find the strength to keep giving and realize that a martyr is nothing to strive for. I need to strive to be a person who accepts all for who they are, including herself!